Categories: Turkey 
      Yield: 12 servings 
  
      1    Turkey 
           Margarine; room temperature 
           Salt, kosher 
           Pepper 
      2 lg Onion; quartered 
      1    Celery stalk; w/leaves 
      2 c  ;Water 
           Flour 
           ;Water 
  
  Cut the celery in large pieces.  Mix some flour and water together and make 
  a thick, creamy "kid's paste," then water it down a bit. Thaw any size 
  turkey.  Wash it down real good in the sink and don't be ashamed of 
  scrubbing her down good.  Make the old girl sing like Ethel Merman.  My 
  kids lived for this event each year as all my turkeys sang in the shower as 
  if their forthcoming debut was at Town Hall. This bird you're washing is 
  the star of the show and should be treated as such. You'll have more fun 
  watching the turkey bathe if you select a noted singer.  I've cooked 
  several Ethel Merman turkeys and a Kate Smith or two and I remember one 
  Billie Holiday bird. 
   
  Slightly dry Ethel with paper towels.  Grab a handful of margarine and rub 
  it between your hands.  Now rub the star as if she's getting her final 
  massage.  Make sure you get plenty of margarine rubbed into the bird. Now, 
  with margarine still on your hands, rub a palmful of salt between your 
  hands and apply this to the bird as you did the margarine, making sure 
  plenty of salt gets rubbed in.  You need not worry about too much salt or 
  margarine and a couple of handfuls may be required. 
   
  Lightly pepper the bird, but don't rub this in.  Dip your hands in the 
  creamy paste created from the watered down "kid's paste" of flour and 
  water.  Dab this lightly on the skin all over, careful not to go over areas 
  already covered with paste.   This is not a crust, but a more delicious 
  sealer. 
   
  Place turkey in a large roasting pan.  Place quartered onions under wings 
  behind drumsticks, in the cavity, and some on the bottom of the pan to cook 
  in the broth that you'll need later on.  Now place the celery along- side 
  the onion and leave the celery tops in the bottom of the pan to cook in the 
  broth. 
   
  Pour two cups of cool water in the bottom of the pan.  DO NOT pour over the 
  turkey.  Preheat oven to 350 F. and let the bird cook slow. Cover and cook 
  the turkey for at least a couple of hours or until the meat turns brown and 
  falls apart at the limbs.  This is a tender turkey and will not hold up to 
  carving at the table.  Prepare your turkey platter on the kitchen cabinet 
  as this bird will fall apart if you try and lift it. After the turkey has 
  cooked for at least 1-1/2 hours, baste the turkey every 30 minutes. Drain 
  off broth and reserve to make the stuffing. 
   
                                    -- Aunt Pearl's Cookbook 
                                       Joe Sears 
  Submitted By SAM WARING   On   MON, 
  20 NOV 1995 145733 GMT